I have not written in nearly a year, life has kept me busy. That busy has included a move to a new city (which I will write more about soon) as well as continuing my online studies. In the class I am currently in, we had to choose a topic that we would write about for the entire five week period. I struggled down to the last moment before I chose my topic. I kept staring at the list we were provided and nothing seemed to sound right. I didn’t want to deal with anything to political, or anything that was extremely controversial. Then, as I was reading through the list for what seemed like the hundredth time, I stopped on “family” it had a variety of sub thoughts, of the different topics that could be considered. The one thing I didn’t see was “single parenting” which is more and more prevalent and I certainly know a thing or two about, so I finally had a topic to which I would be writing about over the course of the class.
Each week we would write using a different voice, or speaking to a different audience. Week three was a narrative, where I was able to share a brief part of my story of how I became a single parent over two decades ago. This week, week four, we had the option of writing a poem… I was so excited when I saw this, because it is indeed one of my favorite forms of creative writing. So I took my narrative and pieced together the following untitled poem. It brought back a lot of memories, and was very cathartic to write, I hope you enjoy it.
First time mom, fear of the unknown
Replaced with excitement, joy, and unbounding love.
You were there for support, companionship.
We were together, through the laughter and the tears.
Marriage, full commitment – sharing what lies ahead.
Another baby, more laughter and joy to share.
Oh the plans me made, the dreams we shared.
Then… glimpses of uncertainty
Our lives began to be, just out of place.
The little things I thought I knew to be true,
Those simple little moments in our lives became unclear.
New baby, less laughter and joy.
Still trying to pinpoint when it all fell out of place
When the chaos truly began.
Bills unpaid – utilities shut off.
The uneasy feeling as we “borrowed” electricity-
The five of us huddled in one room, a single lamp providing light.
So many tears falling on that fate filled morning
Angry tears, tears filled with fear and disappointment.
Thankful for the officer who gave me time,
Time to remove everything we owned
From the home that was no longer our own.
Crying, sobbing, just wanting to scream.
Black trash bags on the curb
Humiliated, humbled, filled with uncertainty.
Turmoil, secrets, unanswered questions.
Would love be enough?
I was a mama bear
Hell bent on protecting my children.
Even if protecting them
Meant walking away from the love of my life.
More packing, this time with boxes.
Packing tape and address labels,
Choosing what comes with us
And what forever remains lost to the chaos.
Packing for the flight-
Shoving everything possible into two suitcases and a carry-on bag.
Walking through the airport,
Boarding the plane.
The initial stares… Who could blame them?
A young mother, two toddlers and a baby?
An unaccommodating flight crew.
A pair of gracious passengers
Willing to help.
Excited with wide eyes
Peanuts and “Captain’s Wings”
Helped to get us through the flight.
Work hard. Be reliable.
Dare to dream.
Work hard. Stay reliable.
Show them you’re different.
Work hard. Study harder.
Doesn’t have to be the norm.
Be the one to step out-
To build a different life.
Be the one…
Break the cycle, be the change.
Families can look different.
Look beyond the walls of your home.
Look beyond the DNA.
Look around you, community, village-
Find the love and support that is there
Waiting for you.
Create a new family, build friendships.
Hold tight to those who love you,
Tell them how you feel.
Say what you mean to say.
Take care of you and yours…
Be the wind beneath their wings.
Until the next moment,